Does God Really Know Me? Let’s Talk Fear of Losing Salvation, Spiritual Drift, & Living In Sin
Acts 19:13-16:“A group of Jews were traveling from town to town casting out evil spirits. They tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus in their incantation, saying, ‘I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out!’ Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest, were doing this. But one time when they tried it, the evil spirit replied, ‘I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you?’ Then the man with the evil spirit leaped on them, overpowered them, and attacked them with such violence that they fled from the house, naked and battered.”
As a Christian woman, one of my biggest fears was questioning if I really was known as a daughter of God. This panic increased when I had gone mute in my prayers, and I felt myself drift from the Lord. I didn’t know how to talk to Him, nor did I feel the desire to. It’s as if the past few months were dry and dull for me spiritually, and I unintentionally put my relationship with Him on the back burner.
Though I was lacking in my prayer life, I still made it a priority to read my Bible. One day, I read Acts 19:13-16, and this only made my fear of not being known as God’s true child even worse.
“As a Christian woman, one of my biggest fears was questioning if I really was known as a daughter of God.”
In Acts 19:13-16, a group of seven, Jewish men were traveling town-to-town to cast evil spirits out of people. These men were the sons of Sceva. They wanted to be like Paul, who was gifted with the power to perform unusual miracles because the Lord had given him this ability. The Jews, however, did not have God as their power source, yet they tried using the name of the Lord to cast an evil spirit out of a man.
In verse 13, they said, “I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out!” Take note of how they said “whom Paul preaches,” not “whom we preach.” They knew the fancy lingo and terms, yet they did not have any power in God’s name at all. In verse 15, the evil spirit replied to them, “I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you?” Then the man with the evil spirit leaped on the men and attacked them violently. The men fled naked and scared.
I sat there and repeated the demon’s question to myself. “But who are you?” It was easy to question the legitimacy of myself as God’s child when I had been drawing away from the Lord for some time now. If the evil spirit could call out the men for their useless and godless power, then surely I would be called out, too, without issue. Any angel or demon would know that I was living hypocritically.
One thing I had to remind myself is that I am saved by declaring Jesus is Lord and believing in my heart that God raised Jesus from the dead. As Romans 10:10 says, “For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.” Jesus also says in John 14:6-7, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. If you had really known Me, you would know who My Father is. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him!” This Scripture reassured me that I am indeed saved, and I don’t have to be separated from God even if my feelings led me to believe that I was.
What I really needed to face was my conviction, which was a nudge given by the Holy Spirit, proving that I had God and needed to listen to Him. Though my fear wasn’t completely valid- I am a child of God- I still felt convicted about living in hypocrisy. I had been drawing away from the Lord and not relying on His power, but my own for some time.
“What I really needed to face was my conviction, which was a nudge given by the Holy Spirit, proving that I had God and needed to listen to Him. ”
This leads me to my first question: How do we truly represent ourselves as God’s children?
The first part of solving the problem is knowing what not to do. Let’s take a look at Acts 19. By breaking down each verse of this passage, we can truly understand the errors of the sons of Sceva. Here’s what we know so far:
The passage said that they traveled from town to town to cast out demons. These men were known as “Jewish exorcists,” and they had cast out evil spirits before.
In the NLT version of the Bible, verse 13 includes the word “incantation.” This word, by definition, means “a series of words said as a magic spell or charm.” This shows that the Jewish men’s power to cast out demons previously was sourced from a power that wasn’t God’s power. Rather, this was a form of witchcraft.
They tried to use the name of the Lord, but they gave themselves away with the words “whom Paul preaches.” This confirms that they had no relationship with God or personal knowledge of what that looked like and entailed. Their dad was a priest, so by relation, they thought that was enough. Yet, titles and family connections are never enough.
The evil spirit called them out on their bluff, and it wasn’t scared of them at all.
These men were overpowered by the possessed man, and they fled “naked and battered.” The word “battered” means “wounded” and “bleeding.” These men were worse off than before and were not well-protected by their own strength.
Similar to the way their bodies were exposed, so were their heart-postures with God.
Based on the facts, we know that the Jewish men had no true connection with God. What they did have was a failed mission. Though they performed great works in God’s name, they were not working for His name. As Mo Aiken says in her book Fully Known: An Invitation to True Intimacy with God, “Doing for God was quite different from being with God.” (Pg. 29)
Whatever the reason for their works, we do know that they knew God as His title of “Lord,” but not as “Father.” What the Jewish men lacked was spiritual intimacy and relationship. Like any relationship, we need to know someone well, not just know of them. The biblical definition of the word “know” means “to be intimately familiar with.”
This leads me to my second question: Are you intimately familiar with God?
If you were and/or are struggling with being intimately familiar with the Lord, I want to remind you of four key points. Some of these might be hard truths to accept, but stay with me here.
The Four Takeaways of This Passage:
1. God knows His people. (John 10:14)
As we read in John 10:14, “I am the good shepherd; I know My sheep and My sheep know Me.” (NLT)
In John 10:14, Jesus uses the example of a shepherd with his sheep. He describes Himself as the shepherd, and His people represent the sheep. His sheep aren’t just anyone; they’re His responsibility. They’re His to protect full-time.
Without the shepherd, the sheep are prone to wander, find themselves easily lost, and are prone to danger. Without the shepherd near, wild animals would try to kill and devour them similar to how Satan tries to destroy us.
Since the sheep are his responsibility, the shepherd would do anything to save them. Jesus makes it clear here that He would lay down His life for His people and would do anything to protect them. This is supported by 1 Corinthians 8:3, which says, “The person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.” Once His people are saved, they are known by God.
Jesus makes it clear that He doesn’t leave His sheep in the hands of anyone else because no one knows the sheep like He does. The sheep respond to him, just as we respond to Jesus. These sheep have been cared for all their lives, starting at birth, never forgotten or forsaken. They are known, and they know their protector. There is no other suitable shepherd other than the one they have. Because the sheep know the shepherd, they can follow His lead.
2. Knowing Scripture doesn’t mean knowing God. (John 5:39-40)
As we read in John 5:39-40, Jesus says, “You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to Me!” (NLT)
In this passage, Jesus tells his audience what they do not want to hear. He tells them that they do not have the love of God within them. They might be familiar with Scripture, but how effective is knowing that Scripture if it does not point them to the one true God Himself?
We might believe that reading Scripture gives us eternal life when in reality Jesus is the key to that future. It’s sad to think that we deny Him because we believe in something or someone else. Unfortunately, we often refuse to come to God’s presence or even deny it when we are actually in front of Him.
Whether we were raised in a Christian household or have a family member who has taught us the Scriptures, we cannot call ourselves a Christ follower if we don’t seek out God in our daily lives. It is not enough to label ourselves as a Christian, just because we know Scripture or have a family member or friend who is a Christian. Romans 12:2 assures us that god transforms us into a new person by changing the way we think. By doing this, we are able to know God’s will for us and do what pleases Him. The goal is to be more like Him, to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15). Our goal is to be Christ-like, which means to imitate Christ’s mannerisms, behaviors, and actions. Knowing some Bible verses does not equal salvation, nor does it mean we know God for who He truly is.
3. Our hearts can be far from God even when we speak of Him. (Isaiah 29:13)
As we read in Isaiah 29:13, “And so the Lord says, ‘These people say they are Mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. And their worship of Me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.’” (NLT)
In Isaiah chapter 29, God shares His thoughts about liars and hypocrites. As we learn, God is not pleased by them. Rather, God loves when our hearts and words add up. These two factors need to work together as much as faith and good works need to. It is easy for our lips to form fancy words. Actors get paid for knowing the lines they need to say. Hypocrites are just actors because they know the correct lines to say, but God sees past their put-together speech.
Though their words may have sounded genuine, God knew their hearts, and their hearts did not align with His version of love. What good is it to say if we love God when our hearts are far from Him? God knows when we truly love Him, and He wants us to mean it when we say it.
For many, it can be a no-brainer to follow what is traditional, custom, habitual, and/or familiar. This includes what we have taught ourselves or been taught by the church. Anyone can say they love God, but an absent love is only religion. Religion holds no value to God.
4. God knows when our works are done with the wrong intention. (Matthew 7:21-23)
As it says in Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who calls out to Me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who do the will of My Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to Me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in Your name and cast out demons in Your name and performed many miracles in Your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’” (NLT)
In this part of Scripture, Jesus is speaking to His disciples and all who followed Him to listen. This interaction takes place during His Sermon on the Mount. This is one of the most monumental texts in Scripture.
In this text, Jesus warns people of the approaching Day of Judgment. When this day would arrive, many people would call on the Lord’s name, trying to get His attention. Jesus tells listeners that there would be people who would prophesy in God’s name, perform many miracles, and cast out demons in hopes of reaching heaven. Unfortunately, they’d realize that the works they’ve done were not enough to enter God’s kingdom.
There is no way to buy ourselves into heaven. It’s easy to do good things when we think these actions can win our way into heaven. However, salvation is a gift, and we cannot take credit for it. If salvation was based on good works alone, no one would find their way into hell. We’d have no use for Jesus and His death.
Conclusion:
It’d be an understatement to say I questioned if I was known by God. Yet, I missed the greater concern: truly knowing God intimately myself. This didn’t click right away, but when it did, my whole mindset changed. No longer did I struggle to pray, go to God, nor did I feel dry spiritually. If anything, my relationship with Him was on fire.
The question “But who are you?” no longer scared me.
To God’s fellow children who are reading, remember this: Once we allow that intimacy with God on both sides, we form a greater bond with Him. Our strengthened relationship becomes so obvious that both our friends and enemies can see it! Most importantly, God recognizes those who belong to Him and accepts those who are His.
As Mo Aiken says in her book *Fully Known*, “When we’re in intimacy with God, we resolve to truly know Him and be known by Him.” (Pg. 134) Oh, what can be a more beautiful relationship than this?!
“It’d be an understatement to say I questioned if I was known by God. Yet, I missed the greater concern: truly knowing God intimately myself. ”
Self-Reflective Questions:
Do you make alone time for yourself and God?
Are you able to come to Him often and confess your heart to Him? Why or why not?
What distractions, emotions, and/or misunderstandings affect your intimacy with God?
How is your heart posture with God?
How can you further grow your relationship with Him as your Heavenly Father?
Do you feel confident enough to know that a supernatural being would recognize your love for and relationship with God? Why or why not?
How can you fully know God and be known by Him?